My Son's Birth Story

It’s crazy to write another birth story 4.5 years on.
After my experience with birth trauma, recovery trauma and post natal depression with my daughter (Olive), I didn’t know with any certainty if I would have another child but after we purchased our house, I felt like we had a certain level of stability to try for another baby.

My son was due on the 21st April 2023.
As he was my second, I had a ridiculous amount of naivety that he would just come sooner than Olive did. She went 10 days over and I thought there is just no way he’ll cook for longer than her. But there is literally no research to support this ha. So the due date came and wentttt. My mum flew down for a week and we waited and waited.

On the morning of the 2nd, I had done some shopping with mum to try and take my mind off things. That whole morning I was feeling so heavy and by then I was eleven days over the due date. That evening I decided to opt for a stretch and sweep with my midwife. I was adamant I wanted no intervention but by this stage I was growing rapidly tired of hauling myself around after Olive while waiting for him to arrive. I had had a scan the day before and asked the sonographer not to mention his estimated size to me. With my midwife (Suzi) that evening, she mentioned the scan estimated he was still sitting on the 90th percentile. I could see the discomfort in her face when she looked at me seriously and said ‘Elle, I know how much you want a home birth, but just so you know, if we were in a situation at home where he got stuck, we would have more resources at the hospital.’ I tried not to panic with this information. It was the first time I had seen Suzi express any doubt about having him at home and it rattled me. I trusted her completely and we had formed a wonderful relationship throughout the pregnancy. I logged what she’d said and went to bed.

I woke at 10pm and began feeling some cramping. I put it down to the stretch and sweep and probably another false alarm. By 11pm I turned to Matt and said things really felt like they were amping up and we needed to get the pool going. I put the Tens machine on and went into my room and put a prayerful birth mediation on. It was so special to sit there and commit the birth to God. The meditation reminded me how capable my body was and how designed for birth it had been made.

We called the on call midwife and I spoke with her through contractions and we realised they were coming at very regular intervals. Matt started filling up the birth pool. She said she and Suzi were on her way. By the time Suzi arrived, she examined me and said I was 5cm dilated and if we wanted to transfer to hospital, now was the time. I had to make the decision quickly and my evening conversation with Suzi about baby’s size was still ringing in my head. I didn't want to make a fear based decision but I knew Suzi had a lot of experience. I relunctantly said we could transfer but I could NOT imagine making the drive to the hospital. The surges felt so strong and I couldn't even fathom walking to the car. I was scared I would need to push on the drive. As Matt packed the car and got it ready, I asked Suzi to examine me again and my waters broke. She said I'd dilated to 7cm and it was too late to go to hospital. Baby made the decision for me - we were having a home birth.

We tested the water in the birth pool and it was too hot, so as Matt was emptying hot water with a bucket he was filling cold water with a hose. In the commotion the hose went onto the floor and started pouring water all over the hardwood floors. I had no idea this was happening as I sat moaning on the floor as Matt frantically used every towel we had in an attempt to save any damage to the floor!

At this point Matt had also called my mum to come over in preparation for taking Olive, as we thought we were going to the hospital. Mum arrived (unbeknownst to me) and walked quietly to our bedroom, ready if Olive woke. Before the birth began, we were pretty certain she would wake up from all the noise.

I got into the birth pool and the surges were coming very strong. They felt much more painful then Olive's birth. I questioned how I could face their intensity with no pain relief. I wondered if I should have gone to hospital after all, at least gas was available there. I could hear how loud and primal my voice was becoming with each surge. I thought I was going to breathe him out but I could not control what came out of my mouth. It felt so much stronger than Olive’s birth. It was like riding waves as the intensity of the surge bore down on my body followed by almost total quietness in the room as I waited for the next surge. I was grateful to be in water this time around. Unlike my hospital bed birth with Olive, I had total freedom of movement in the pool & it made a huge difference allowing my body to get into the positions it wanted.

After one last big surge, Suzi asked me to put my hand down and I felt his soft little furry head crowning. It was the most surreal and incredible moment of my life physically feeling my son’s humanity about to enter the world. I swiftly moved onto my back in the pool. By the next surge I thought I thought he'd be out but he stayed there for a few minutes while we waited for the final big surge that pushed him out into the water and up into my arms. I burst into tears as I brought him up onto my shoulder. He was silent for a moment and the cord was wrapped around his neck. As the midwives untangled it, he let out his first little cry. He was perfect. Huge. Covered in vernix. Our little man. Roman Coen Eastwood was here. We had done it. In 5 swift hours, he had made his entry into the world. We sat in the pool together doing skin to skin and breathing each other in. My mum came out of our bedroom to meet him, having unexpectedly heard the WHOLE birth experience from our bedroom. Once I got out of the pool, I squatted down and delivered his placenta in one push. At 4.45am, we had our first breastfeed as he naturally latched on his own using the breast crawl. After that I lay on the couch as Suzi stitched up my second degree tear and Matt held him for about 45 minutes as he stayed attached to the cord.

By some miracle, Olive slept through the ENTIRE birth. At 7.30am Matt went to get her and told her her brother had arrived and was in the lounge. She quickly ran to put her Frozen Elsa dress on so she could make the best first impression and cautiously walked out. After seeing Roman, she ran to get the toy she'd bought him and proudly unwrapped it for him.

I can honestly say birthing naturally at home was the biggest and proudest accomplishment of my life. I had held my birth preferences with a very open hand this time around, knowing full well anything could have happened. But birthing at home, in my safe place, with no intervention and with a midwife I had formed such a wonderful relationship was such a redemptive gift. It healed and sealed the parts of me that had been traumatised through Olive's birth. It gave me back the power I felt I had lost with my first foray into motherhood and it helped begin my postpartum period from a place of wholeness rather than brokenness. I will be forever thankful for a redeeming experience.